The high you get from starving is like none other. I went a week eating 100 calories max, if that and my roomie went 3 days. There was one day we were driving to get my xanax, and we both felt so spaced out. Its like your light headed, happy, empty, numb, and starved at the same time. A total mindfuck. I dont know what I would do without her, people would think I was a nut job all by myself.
There are the low days too...I woke up from a dream that i had binged on chocolate, and realized it was just a dream when I was already shaking. (my roomie had the same dream, the same time.. weird)
Its hard to sleep. You lay your head down and think think think. Of what you'll eat tomorrow, what you ate today, what you would eat if you could eat anything, what you'll wear when youre skinny.
And I had an emotional break down the other day. I was starved and delirious and one thing set off a temper tantrum of tears. Needless to say i'm now on xanax.
Either way, I choose being skinny over any pros or cons.
xoxo
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