So, this weekend was rough. It was fall break. I did really good for the first two days, ate only one small meal and threw up everything. But then I went to my moms, and I resisted..and then I ate and ate ate ate. Ugh. Oh well now I'm back at the university safe and away from pressures of food. I was so tired of people making me eat. I was scared after this binge weekend i'd binge when I came back, but then I realized something. NO ONE is here to force me to eat. Theres no pressure. No one is going to look my way and say "you need to eat." Not when I still look like a fat cow. Maybe after these next 10 pounds..maybe then. Thats how i'll judge my progress, by the compliments. Because you're not really losing shit if no one notices. Anyway, I feel safe and sound in my little dorm room. No food, just netflix, reading, working out, keeping myself busy :) I'll probably post lots of thinspo tonight.
^It must be so nice to look that sexy in bed
^for those moments when you cant lose past a certain weight
^She remind me of how Marya Hornbacher describer herself in her memoir (wasted, look it up. SO good) Sitting up all night in a cafe, reading and drinking black coffee. Long dark hair and the kind of mysterious allure that no one can resist. My extensions are coming in and then maybe if i get this tiny i'll feel like her..maybe <3
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