One thing many people don't discuss is the pain of losing a thinspo buddy. My first friend I ever had who was ana too was Kayla. I can't remember exactly how it started but one day she came up to me and said "I heard you used to be anorexic...I want to lose weight." and just like that we were fasting for a week straight, smoking cigs in the park, making journals together, spending hours in the baby food section. I honestly miss that time, having someone who was so serious about it with me. I don't know what happened but we fell out. Shes actually pregnant now weirdly enough.
Then I had multiple online ones. They always gave up.
I had friends who would try and throw up like me, but they could never do it.
And my roomie now calls herself an anorexic. Refers to us as "We" But I worry she's backing out... She says little comments that contradict what we're trying to do. She eats a shit ton when her boyfriend comes up. She said she was gonna fast today and ate a bunch of veggies and granola bars. I was just hoping this time I would have someone on my level....
It sucks being alone in this
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